Thursday, February 11, 2010

February Days of Rain

The A-frame is rented.

January is over and the first blush of hope of becoming a sparkling new human being with a scintillating new life of opportunities is slowing sliding back into the routine of gray rainy routines. What to do? It is that time of year when nothing seems to change or to be changeable but we only need to look back at the year 12 months past to see how much happened that we did not foresee.

It will all be unexpected in this year too, so right now I remind myself to just take one step at a time. I don't feel like getting out of bed- just do it and make a cup of coffee. I want to sit on the sofa with no idea how to proceed- just walk into the computer and solve ONE dilemma, answer one note to a friend; okay now the internet has sucked dry my mind.

Walk out and sit at the spinning wheel for a minute to finish one skein so the blanket on the loom can be finished. (Don't think about the 6 more to be done-that is depressing and irrelevant) Oh, I have a class with the Korean student this morning so I will have to get dressed out of sweats and into something acceptable because she dresses up for the meetings in jeans jacket, cute short dress with tights and black boots. I don't want to make her feel it is useless to put her best self forward to I guess I better get dressed. I will take her to Central Market to talk about what we find there and do grocery shopping at the same time.

Then when I get home I will make brownies (An article in the COOK'S has the secret to perfect brownies) so David will have lunch and dinner dessert and maybe make Pumpkin Soup for dinner and see how far that gets me. This day is moving along, as they do, and I feel a little more hopeful.

And so it goes...just take one step even when it doesn't feel like a step you want to take. No big insights just constant little efforts and we break out into the sunshine sooner than expected. My yoga teacher's departing words last night were particularly relevant although I can only share their essence as I have forgotten the exact words : Recognize the creative energy of the universe and see that your control is not part of its path. So, worry and anxiety really does not make success happen sooner! Just remember all the good things that happened unexpectedly and know they will continue to happen.

Keep on Walking!
Mama LLama

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